The Aftermath

I'm not even sure anymore if aftermath is one word or two... But I would think that if I split it into 2, then it would be something like, "after math, you have to go to history." I'm just gonna stick to one word because I'm too lazy to type it into Google and check. This is what my English has become.

This week was fairly eventful. I was the MC for the play contest at my school. Everything turned out fine more or less. Since I basically wrote the whole script by myself, I got to pepper it with a lot of my humor, which was surprisingly appreciated by the audience and teachers. I'll translate part of our dialogue for you as an example of what my humor has degraded to:

Co-MC: Hey Joe, have you ever performed in front of people on a stage?
Me: Of course! Ever since I was a little boy, the crowds loved me. When you look at my face, don't you immediately think "ACTOR!" Brad Pitt has nothing on my looks.
[Insert whatever hand/facial gestures you find make the dialogue funnier, and that's what I did] ;)

My classes play went pretty well. I thought we would win a prize, because (since I also wrote our play) the script was witty, my classmates made some amazing props, and we all acted fairly well. I had a bunch of fun doing it though. I always enjoy events like that. I think it's a great bonding experience for the class unless they take it too seriously and start fighting... which happened. Luckily, things smoothed over, at least on the surface, and we were able to push through it.

After the play contest was over, I was hanging out with some classmates. I decided to drop by the police station to find out if they could fingerprint me there. I went with a German girl and an Indonesian girl. When we walked into the police station, everyone stopped what they were doing and just stared at us. I walked up to the desk, and the officer at the desk panicked and said in Korean,"It's a foreigner. Hey you! Come talk to him." Another nervous officer approached me, but before he said anything, I just started speaking to him in Korean.

"Hi, I need to get fingerprinted because I need to change my visa. Can I do that here?" Needless to say, he was a little bit surprised. All he could get out was, "Why?" Seeing as we haven't studied criminology in my classroom yet, I do not yet know how to say "an FBI criminal background check is required" so I just answered, "I just need it to change my visa." The Indonesian girl chimed in, "He has to send it back to America." Because she was the only one that looked Asian out of us, the police then ignored me and started talking to her. "We don't have the fingerprint cards here, but if you bring your own, then we can do them for you blah blah blah." What's the lesson I learn from this? No matter how proficient I get at this language, they will always prefer speaking to someone they believe is a native speaker.

I also went to a language exchange event this week. Some guy came up to me and my classmates in our school and asked us if we wanted to participate. It sounded pretty lame to me, but I figured that if I went with my classmates, it would at least be a little bit fun. Normally these events just turn into Koreans trying to practice their English. And if you want to practice your Korean, the conversation usually doesn't progress past "What did you eat yesterday? Was it good? What is your favorite food? WOW YOU SPEAK KOREAN SO WELL!" However, this event was all in Korean. It was really nice. I made some friends there, and I hope to back and do it again sometime soon. They had us doing some weird activities though...

(Forgive me if my English breaks down in this section. What was said doesn't translate very well.)

 They asked us to pick a paper color that represented our spirit/mood/heart that day. Me, being the artistically minded person that I am looked at the colors very carefully. I saw blue and thought, "Hey, I like blue" and picked it. We then sat at a table where they told us to "draw anything we want, but it has to represent our what we were feeling." Although artistically minded, I seemed to be struggling in this area for a while. What is representative of anger? Draw a picture of someone punching another person? What is representative of happy-go-lucky? A smiley face? What is representative of depression? One guy standing alone while everyone else has a date? I guess I should have paid more attention to my feelings growing up. After staring at my blank blue sheet of paper for a while, I had an idea. "Hey, I like music!" (My mind usually only speaks to me in 4 word sentences that consist of "Hey, I like [insert noun]") So I drew music... sheet music.

After this exercise was done, they evaluated our artwork. My Indonesian classmate had drawn a tree with all different colors of leaves next to a park bench on a sunny day. They told her, "Oh, this is a beautiful picture! You have a very bright personality because you used all these different colors blah blah blah. Normally, people who only pick one color are a little bit dull. They are usually under a lot of stress, especially if they choose black." It was then that I looked at mine; I had drawn the whole thing in black. When they asked for my paper, I lifted it up like a 5 year old boy holding up the cookie that he was caught stealing. I disguised my apparent stressful/dull personality with my award winning copy-written Joseph Lee signature smile.

The next activity we did involved looking at different pictures of objects, picking 2, and making a story involving those 2 pictures. A pretty good language practicing exercise I guess. Involves creating and presentation in a different language. I was determined to do better this time. I would show them just how creative I was. There were 2 animals among the pictures we could select: a cat and a snake. I chose them thinking that I could come up with a decent fable. Unfortunately, we were then supposed to draw the 2 items we chose. Drawing animals: my worst nightmare. I thought the story I came up with was decent though. I created a fable of a cat and snake playing together one day when they saw a mouse. The then started fighting each other because both of them wanted to eat the mouse. In the end, the mouse got away because they worked against each other. Moral of the story: it is better to work together to achieve your goals.

After I told this to the person inspecting our work, I was rather proud of myself. Not only did I say it in Korean, I also made it up on the spot. After I patted myself on the back for a job well done, the Korean "inspector" followed up with "Joe, are you under a lot of stress right now? Normally stories involving fighting are caused by people under stress. You should probably go back home and rest a little bit blah blah blah." I guess I just come off as a stressed dude. Maybe next time, I'll write a story about a stressed guy that came to a language event, was told too many times he was stressed out, snapped, and wreaked havoc on the event. I can only imagine what they would say to that.

On a final note, I went over to my cousin's house last night and made real American brownies. Like from the Betty Crocker box mix kind of brownies. (Not sure what brand it was, but I remember seeing the box and recognizing it as an American brand name.) I currently am in possession of these brownies cause my cousin happens to be awesome and sent most of them home with me. This is literally the first American dessert I've had in almost a year! I'm so excited, so I'm gonna stop writing now and start enjoying this delicious chocolaty goodness with some ice cold milk! You now have permission to be jealous. If you want to, also feel free to grab a piece of blue paper and draw in only black to let your subconscious express itself.