One More Lee in Korea

So much has happened these past 2 weeks, I know I won't be able to write it all down. So, I apologize if this blog drones on for a bit. I'm going to try and capture the true comedy that occurred.

So, I think the first big thing that happened was the speech contest. Overall, it went well. I was able to get by with my Korean without looking like a complete idiot, or so I thought. To those in my class and most of the students, I did fine except for a minor hiccup. I was all set behind my podium ready to interview students that were going to come up and give their speeches. However, at the last minute, they threw me a curve ball and told me that I would have to walk out in front of everyone and interview them there. This meant that I would now have to hold my "script" as well as a microphone. I was fine with it. (I had to be.) But my hands wanted a bit more notice apparently. For the first interview, my hand was quite noticeably shaking. However, after that, everything was under control.

At the end of the speech contest, they were giving out awards to everyone who participated. (I guess in Korea, the concept of "Everyone's a Winner" also flies. And here I thought that was just something Americans did.) When the teacher handed my co-mc and I our awards, he interviewed us a bit. (I guess he also figured that we could speak better than most. False assumption #1.) He asked me, "blah blah blah." To which I replied, "I have no idea what you just said." He then asked me a bit easier question which I'm pretty sure I answered incorrectly anyway. The next day, I asked my teacher what he said to me. She translated it to "nervous." So, expanding on her lack of English, I'm guessing he asked something like, "So, were you nervous much?" On the bright side though, my award was this alarm clock! I often wonder what kind of a message they're sending with it though. "Hey, great job, but you should probably wake up earlier so you can study a bit more." Or, "We noticed you didn't have perfect attendance, so this is our way of making sure that you maximize your educational experience. Your grades were a bit low, so quit slacking." Whatever the exact message, the meaning is understood.

The next major event probably happened on Sunday. I wanted to show Jon and Greg the place where I used to live, so we went down and hung out there for a while. We decided to watch "Lincoln" which by the way was an awesome film. After the movie, the public transportation was closed for the night, so we decided to stay in a Korean sauna for the night.

-An explanation of Korean saunas aka jjimjilbangs: This is a place where many people go to relax and sleep when not staying at home. You get a pair of pj's and can visit different sauna rooms, or you can wear no pj's and go visit the hot tubs. It is a very cheap way of staying somewhere while getting an overall relaxing experience. The total cost usually comes to about 10 dollars per 12 hours. And now continuing the story....

To no one's surprise, Greg was not the biggest fan of this. He did not go to the "No pj's" section. He opted for just going to sleep. Jon and I went and chilled in the hot tubs for a bit and then went to sleep. However, I did not go there for sleep. It is a rare occasion that I can sit in a bath, so I milked it for all it was worth. About 4 in the morning, I'm sitting in the hot tub with another Korean man. (We'll call him Bob.) Both of us following man-code and minding our own business. Then, this other Korean man (who we'll name Buster) walks in with a bucket.


--Just follow the man-code. Mind your own business.--

Buster decides to get into the hot tub next to us and splash the water around with his bucket while simultaneously making sounds I can only equate to grunts. (I would guess Buster's age to be around 60.) At that precise moment, Bob and I spoke the same language fluently - the language of facial expressions. I looked at him and said, "Yo, is this a Korean thing that I don't know about?" And he answered, "Dude, I have no idea what is going on right now."

Buster apparently got bored with the tub he was in and moved over to Bob's and my tub. Buster started repeating his ceremonial dance of the naked Korean man panning for gold. Bob didn't last long though. He gave me the look of, "Good luck with this guy, I'm outta here." After Bob communicated this to me, I decided that my best course of action was to stare at a point on the wall and think about how not funny that point was. When I finally realized Buster had come finished without apparently finding any gold, I decided it was safe to resume a forward facing posture. I looked up and found Buster looking directly at me. (Someone had obviously never taught him the man-code.) Buster decided to discard the language of facial expression for one he thought I spoke better - English. "Haa-eee!" After realizing he had said, "hi" I instinctually responded in kind.

At this point, my first strategy of "that wall is not funny" was beginning to fail. I decided to follow in the footsteps of Bob and get out of there as fast as I could. Apparently, Buster was growing bored anyway. After I showered off and was on my way out, I saw him repeating his sacred rite in yet a different tub. I wasn't expecting to get relaxation and a show, but I guess you never know what's going to happen here.

I took Jon and Greg to a traditional Korean market to buy some souvenirs. That day, a Chinese girl from my language group had joined us. (I have to say one thing about Americans including myself: we suck at bartering. I'm a bit more used it now, but I still disdain the practice. What is something really worth anyway?) Greg and Jon had no idea that you are supposed to barter at markets. I was only in translation mode as they were looking around. I was mostly just talking to the Chinese girl (Yubi) in Korean. Greg asked how much something was, and I translated. After he found out the price, he started pulling out his wallet. The Chinese girl immediately turned to me and told me, "That's way too expensive, you can get a discount."

I looked over and saw Greg had all the money in his hand. I thought, "Well, that ship has sailed." But I went up to him and said, "Greg, if you desire a more compatible price, you need to voice your displeasure in comprehensible vocabulary." (Most Koreans speak/understand a fair amount of English.) Greg responds with, "This is too expensive." So, I turned to ask for a discount. The ship hadn't quite yet sailed, but it was pushing away from the dock. I was able to get a 3 dollar discount, but apparently Yubi was not pleased overall with Greg's lack of bartering. I had to explain to her that we don't do that in the U.S. She couldn't seem to contemplate a place where no bartering takes place.

I could tell a few more stories, but I fear I may lose all of my readers due to the sheer length. I think despite all of the complaints and difficulty with chopsticks, Jon and Greg enjoyed their time here.

Now, I have to gear up for my 2nd semester of language school. I'm finding that the more Korean I learn, the more I learn outside of school: mostly grammar. Seeing as I know the basic grammar structures right now (simple past, present, and future) it becomes a bit easier to pick up different forms. Unfortunately, it doesn't become easier to speak them. Understanding and speaking are 2 very very different things. I plan on seriously watching some Korean TV/movies this semester in an attempt to learn more how people actually speak instead of proper speech. For example, I'm learning stuff like, "Hello, how are you?" instead of, "What's up?" or "Yo."

And Then There Was More

So, in case you all didn't notice, I actually wrote 2 different blogs this week because quite a bit happened. So, if you haven't read the previous blog yet, go back and read that one first. Unless of course you like jumping in with no context. After this long in Korea, I'm an expert at it.

They say that every rose has its thorns. (First let me point out that "they," although not always, tends to be a credible source. However, in some things like environmental issues, international affairs, and North Korea, "they" tend to not know what "they" are talking about.) I'm sure everyone has heard about the news regarding North Korea. All I can say is that sometimes a baby will cry to get what they want. I really wouldn't be too worried about it. I've seen some American reports, and let me assure you that the media is blowing it out of proportion. Whereas North Korea did actually make a threat against South Korea, it is a result of military exercises that are happening. This usually happens during these times. However, this time the North has threatened a bit more than usual. Either way, I'm in God's hands, so I am really not concerned at all. I have bigger things to worry about right now.

Anyway, back to roses and thorns. It turns out that the phrase can sometimes be reversed. I've revised it to the following: "Some thorns can maybe sometimes have a rose if you're lucky." Maybe someday I'll be clever enough to put those lyrics to song like my more fortunate compatriots in the band "Poison." It turned out that in addition to being MC for the speech contest (a very big nasty thorn), I also gained my first private tutoring student (the rose). I guess it was a kind of "I scratch your back you scratch mine" kind of thing going on. I had my first lesson yesterday, and it went great. I do have to say though, I almost feel like I'm swindling them out of their money though. I literally get paid to talk - something people have been paying me to not do my entire life.

I joined a language exchange group at my school. We had our first meeting last night. I realized that I really need to start studying more. I met with one Korean guy and one Chinese girl. We talked in Korean about 90% of the time. Well, OK. That's not the real truth. They spoke Korean, and I listened and understood most of it. Whenever I did open my mouth to try and talk, I must have sounded exactly like so many of my students before me. "This morning.... um.... I ... eat breakfast..... um.... not." What made it more embarrassing was that the Chinese girl had been studying for as long as I have, yet she was quite a bit better. To my defense, she is in the faster track where they not only cover more material, but speak no English whatsoever in class. In my class, if something is confusing enough (which constitutes just about everything) the teacher will explain in English. At the end of the day though, I had to at least trick myself into being proud of myself. Being able to understand as much as I did and communicate to some extent was reassuring. PEOPLE ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND ME! (The time it takes for me to communicate can go jump off a cliff.)

I find that the problem with communication comes in the immediateness of it all. If I have time to think, then I will usually not only say what I want to say, but say it with perfect grammar too. However, throw me in with the wolves, and all that comes out are screams. Like anything else, it will just take more practice. I need to get out of my room and out in public more often in situations where I'm forced to speak it.

 This is a sign close to my school that I pass almost every day and think, "Man, I should take a picture of that." Well, I finally did. I think it's pretty clever. I'm not exactly what it says, but here's my best guess. "People's tools throughout history have changed into blah blah blah I don't know." A picture is worth a thousand words, and that is never truer than in a foreign country.





I saw these guys today as I was walking through a famous street in Seoul. Must be the Korean version of Mickey Mouse. Somehow, these mannequins don't look quite as friendly though. Mickey Mouse was nice and friendly, but some of these Korean ones look like they might "learn" you do death. I'd especially stay away from that monk on the left. (In a nature documentary voice) Notice how he fools his prey, the Korean child, into come close. Now watch as he imparts all of the knowledge in the world into his victims ensnared brain. So, we see that another childhood has been snatched away. The circle of life is complete.