Unfortunately (from your point of view) but very fortunately from mine, nothing really interesting happened this week. I didn't even get any pictures of anything really. So, I will just try to regale you with some of the funny things that happen to me here. I did, however, actually clean my apartment!!! Spring cleaning came a little late this year, but hey, better late than never. Deep cleaning... gotta love it. I'm staying really busy though. Between being class president, studying, and working, I have very little energy/motivation to do anything else.
They call me "Honja Joe." [ "Honja" is a Korean word that would translate to alone/solo. My classmates call me that sometimes in reference to me never really hanging out with them. Most of the time, I just have other things to do, and the others... well let's just say there's some truth to the honja-ness in me. Sometimes, I really just want to be alone. I spend all day with people, and sometimes I just wanna sit in my (now clean) apartment and enjoy some good quality time with my friends me, myself, and I.
Korean is the same. It just keeps building on itself. Learning a language at this speed is like trying to build a house of cards in a hurricane: once you've set up the base and start building on it, you realize the base vanished, and you have to start over again. Soon, I'll actually be able to go out and actually be able to speak to people. Once I get to that stage, I can start really improving my speaking. At this point, I can pretty much understand people, if they are speaking clearly that is. If they are mumbling/anything happens to impede my hearing at all, I'm totally lost. In your native language, if you miss a few words, it's OK because your mind knows what goes in the blanks based on probability and common phrases. Take all that away and you have no idea what's said. Imagine hearing, "Hey man, how's it ________?" and not knowing what goes in the blank.
As a result, funny situations occur. A wise woman once told me that learning a new language is just an excuse to publicly humiliate yourself. I couldn't agree more. 2 weeks ago, I went into the convenience store to buy a drink before I started teaching. I gave the man my card to pay, but something was wrong with the machine, so he was trying to fix it. In general, foreigners don't know a lick of Korean, so Koreans just don't even bother speaking to them. (I guess after enough blank stares, you just get tired of it.) So the man just started mumbling to himself about how the computer wasn't working. I thought I would shock him with my Korean prowess. I said, "Oh, don't worry. I have siblings too." (Really, I meant to say "cash" but I got the words mixed up. In my defense, they are somewhat similar. hyon gum vs. hyong jay.) Needless to say, the man was surprised, I just wish I knew it was at my lack of Korean prowess. So, he gave me a look that said, "um... ok." and went back to trying to fix the computer. I thought that he must not have heard me. (Sometimes, when I speak Korean, I speak a little bit too softly because I am more unsure of what I'm saying/accent/pronunciation etc.) So, after mentally checking my pronunciation in my head, I said it louder. "Um. I have siblings. SIBLINGS." The poor man didn't know what to do. Luckily, he saw that I had cash in my hand and just took it. Later on, I realized my mistake.
The speed of my thinking/speaking is definitely improving. Korean children especially have the habit of stopping dead in their tracks when they see me. I guess I'm just a little too tall and white for them. Since foreigners usually don't speak any Korean, some Koreans have developed the habit of talking about them right in front of them. Adults usually have a bit more tact, but kids are horrible with this. "Oh look! It's a foreigner!" *cue silent awkward staring* Last year, the only comeback I could do was, "Oh look! It's a Korean!" but that seems just a bit under par for me now. Last week, as I was making the walk of shame back to that same convenience store, 4 kids saw me and said, "Oh look! A foreigner is coming!" Surprisingly, I instantly thought of a response, "Why are you calling me a foreigner?" Lucky for me, right before I said it, I noticed one of their mothers standing right behind them, so I thought it probably best to just pretend like I didn't understand Korean. I knew the convenience store owner would back that story up.
This sparked a question in my mind, "What can I say to kids that do that?" Normally, just speaking anything in Korean is enough to shock them into silence/shame. However, I want something that will also shame them in their own language. So began my quest of insults. After days of pondering and searching, I just asked a Korean. Here's what I'm saying next time (when no mothers are present), "What? Is this the first time you've seen a foreigner?" The Korean that told me this said that if someone were to do that to him as a kid, he would literally have just ran away. If I'm feeling especially cranky, I guess I can pull out, "What are you looking at?" (which surprisingly translates almost directly. The Korean literal translation would be "look what?")
I don't really mind when kids do this to me. In the end, kids will be kids. When adults do it though, it's kind of offensive. Unless of course, they're of the female persuasion, and what they're saying isn't bad. As I'm dozing on the bus, I hear 2 girls across the aisle talking about me:
Girl 1: Oh, look. It's a foreigner. He's not bad. You should go try and speak English to him!
Girls 2: No! I don't know English well enough. I wouldn't know what to say.
Girl 1: You can do it! Just think of the sentence before you speak it. You can do it!
Girl 2: Nooooo! Don't make me! Stop!
I would be lying if I said a big grin didn't slowly creep across my face. Half of me wanted to just be like, "Oh, you don't have to speak English, I can speak Korean." But at the same time, that's about just as far as the conversation would've gone. I would've been met
with surprise and a whole lot of Korean spoken too quickly for me to understand. It's what I call setting myself up for a fail, and as the convenience store owner knows, I do it all to often.
Luckily, I've actually found a study buddy. One of my other classmates is actually serious about learning Korean, so we have begun studying together after classes (when he or I don't work). He has a very similar story to mine. He taught in Korea last year, liked it, and now wants to explore the Korean language. It's refreshing finding people that are more along your wavelength.
One of my classmates finally picked up on the notion that I look like a Roman, so he drew this of me in class. The artist is an 18 year old British "chap." He's taken it upon himself to be my fashion conscience. "Joe, the Roman look has been out of style for about 2,000 years now. Try changing the hair if you can't change the nose." My response, "Et tu, Brute?" Growing up with 3 siblings, it doesn't feel like home if someone isn't ridiculing you about something.
If you're into this sort of thing, here's some easy listening Korean music. This band has a pretty nice sound. Their name is "busker busker." I learned this week that a busker is a street performer. Not sure if I'm crazy or if it's just an uncommon/non-American word. Either way, I'm now wiser. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXV7dfvSefo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SKunZTZzXc
On Tuesday, I have what would literally translate to "Song Competition" but I like to just refer to it as "that thing we have to do." OK, I lie. I'm actually really looking forward to it. Any chance I can get to perform! My whole class is memorizing a Korean song and will perform it Karaoke style in front of all of the other classes in level 2 (probably around 200 people). Needless to say, I have been listening to/singing this song pretty much every day this week. We purposefully picked a more ridiculous song so that WHEN it fails, it at least looked on purpose. Personally, I just see it as an opportunity to act ridiculous in front of everyone. I'm going to have one of my friends film it so that when this launches my career as a professional singer, I can sell the original for millions. Based on my history from last year, I usually have great success when performing in front of people.
On Wednesday last week, my school offered a cooking class for $5. I figured why not learn something I'll never do anyway. So me and a Russian girl from my class signed up together. We actually had a lot of fun. After donning the apron that was "2 sizes too small" they brought in an actual chef to teach us (which means that she was speaking way too quickly for any of us to understand anyway). Luckily, we had a visual demonstration as well. After "listening" to the history/reasoning behind the different ingredients, we watched the demonstration and then went to making it for ourselves.
After we finished, I moved over to do the dishes while my partner was finishing up the last touches on the meal. However, I guess it's taboo for a man to do the dishes in Russia. (In the best Moose and Squirrel accent you can muster) "Joe, you know, I think dishes is for woman. You no do." To say that I argued would be a lie. The head chef ended up coming around and complimented us on our work. She said it was art (and something else neither of us understood). I'm gonna just go with something positive.
Other than that, all I've been doing this week is work and study. I had my last day teaching at a certain academy this week. One of my students wrote this on a card to me for my going away present. Really sweet. B for effort.
